There is a general belief amongst Nigerian men that all Nigeria ladies love money and always date for money. We’ve even coined a proverb around this ingrained perspective “money for hand, back for ground”. We see ladies as financial leeches. We don’t believe that a lady will consciously assist a man financially without expecting his head in return.
This 21st century stereotyping mentality has hampered our relationship with the opposite sex. We no longer see them as a helper, friend and supporter. We now see them as trophies to display financial muscle, “toasting skills”, handsome qualities or in some cases, physical strength. This begs the question: Do Nigerian ladies date just for money? Is it really possible to find a true lover amidst the multitude of beautiful girls around us? Is the generation of really good girls a thing of the past?
The main problem that birthed our current predicament with ladies is us. Yes Us. We planted the bad seed that yielded this abominable seed. We built their attitude to only focus on money. We are to blame because:
1) We drifted their focus to only pay attention to the moneybag: Materials things will always function as a shortcut to the heart of any living thing. We have applied this theory of life as a pathway to land our dream girl. Remember that sunny day when you told a girl to leave the man of her dreams so as to have the most comfortable life on earth at the expense of your bank account? Remember when she kept saying no while you kept upgrading the gifts you are giving her? Well, just like the story of the biblical Adam & eve, she yielded to you at the expense of her true love. After spending few weeks at your disposal, a higher bidder came and he snatched her with the same strategy you used. slowly but surely, she is getting used to the fact that her love can become an object of trade with which she will get anything she want. I believe you know fully well that we all applied the same strategy. the result is what we have today.
2) We use our wealth to launch the first strike: When you meet a lady for the first time, one of the last sentences you will say in a bid to see her again is “can i take you to dinner later tomorrow? You wont pick a restaurant based on close proximity for both parties rather, you will try your possible best to take her to the most expensive restaurant in the city. (I am still usually amazed when some guys complain that the lady ordered for an expensive meal. You brought her to the best of the best so she can have a good day. Why are you annoyed by the fact that she ordered for the the best meal in the best restaurant?)
3) We run ourselves into debt in our quest to please them: A relationship is meant to include two sincere and like minded individuals making commitments to each other in a bid to establish a home together. We have laid insincerity as a bedrock for our relationships. We end up borrowing money to keep up with the pseudo-character we have created in her mind.
4) We approach the wrong girls for the right thing: You need a modest, gentle & spirit-minded girl with good cooking skills. You have relegated the scope of your search to brothel’s and night clubs. I shake my head in disdain. 
5) We jump to conclusions: after dating two bad choices in your local government area, you happily conclude that all girls are the same. Seriously? The fact that scientist do not reason like you makes me happy. Is that really the best way to search? Please man-up my guy. Picture your dream girl in your mind. Outline the features you are most likely to see in her, design a sincere and feasible plan to make her yours. walk up to her and make your move. Don’t feel bad if you design seems to have failed. Just pick yourself up and try again.
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