Dear Aunty Aurora,I recently had my traditional introduction to my lovely fiancée and her family. My mother and family are over the moon that I finally popped the question to Anthonia, as she’s from a good family in the east. I’m 34 and my fiancée is 30. She’s a nice-looking girl, the sort you can trust, and I know she’ll make a good wife but she hasn’t moved into my flat yet but she comes quite regularly to help cook and tidy up.I work in the creative industry and recently had to open a savings bank account for my wedding preparations. My old account officer was not around and one of the newest girls on the team was assigned to help out and we exchanged numbers. She’s curvy, bubbly and such fun to be with. I’d chat to her every chance I got and I found myself wanting to kiss her and dreamed about doing much more. She’s 25. One night I summoned up the courage to invite her out for a meal. She accepted and, when I dropped her back home, we had steamy sex in her flat. Since then, we’ve been seeing each other as much as we can.My fiancée found out about this around four months ago. She had her suspicions and looked through my phone. She says she’ll forgive me as long as she knows that it’s over for good. I tried walking away from my lover but keep going back. My sex life with her is amazingly amazing and so much better than what I’ve been getting at home. My lover wants me to split up with my fiancée and be with her instead, but the problem is that I’ve already done my introduction and my super sexy curvy lover is Yoruba. I have tried to tell my fiancée it’s over between us but I keep bottling out and putting it off. I’m scared that whatever decision I make will be wrong. I’m stressed out and I can’t cope. What should I do? Thanks Uche, Shomolu.Dear Uche: Let me help you. If you can’t decide who you want to be with then I really don’t think that you’re ready for marriage or settling down. You’re ‘engaged’ to a girl you can trust but it sounds as if the passion’s not there. Did you make a safe choice so you wouldn’t risk being alone? That’s not fair on her and it’s not going to last. You’re not even married and already you’re cheating with somebody else. Can you really imagine being faithful to her through the years? Perhaps you’re torn between security and excitement. Perhaps neither girl is quite right for you in the long term. If that’s the case, break off the engagement and think about what you most want at this stage in your life. If you’re playing the field then be clear that commitment isn’t on your agenda right now. Be honest and open – and make sure you have safe sex.Photo Credit: Getty

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